|
sgthommel
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Derek
Location: Syracuse, New York, United States
Birthday: 11/7/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: airsoft, computer games, writing, drawing
Expertise: English Language / Japanese Studies
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
AIM:  dsh9470
Member Since:
9/6/2005
|
|
| weekend's here.
For some reason I felt compelled last friday to sign myself up for a chit-chat with the youth-group-founder/religious-leader-dude-guy from the youth group I've been attending this semester, but now that the fated meeting is almost upon me, I'm not sure if I want to go. I'm not even sure why I signed myself up. Maybe it's my guilt over being in a youth group when I'm not religious. I should at least make an effort to try to make an effort to discover the Big J, I guess. Well, that makes me sound like I'm not religious, and I think I am religious or spiritual or whatever on some level. I just think the Church is a giant scam. At least my church was. It was all lights and melodrama and stuff. Razzle-dazzle, as Chicago put it. It just seems like a "feel-good" thing for down-on-their-luck suckers who feel they "want more out of life" and just need something to believe in. I can relate to this feeling, but maybe I'm just paranoid when I think the Church exploits that. You hear about these stories where fast-talkers swindle congregations out of millions to line their pockets and then take off - wolves leading the sheep - and then my own church starts turning every other sermon into a fund raiser and it seems to all just fall into place, you know?
Although it's supposed to be a friendly chit-chat about the J Man and how I should let my life go into His hands and stuff, I'm still siezed up at the thought of going. Even if it's not his real mission, I still see this as some sort of divine sales pitch. Like he's going to have a catalogue of the variety of religious stereotypes like the Born Again hippie, the mid-life crisis 40-something, the closet-Christianity yuppie, the hippie guy, etc, and hes gonna open it up and explain what'd best fit me or something.
Okay, the real problem is that I want a logical answer, and due to the dogma or whatever about the "leap of faith" and how faith and logic can't coexist, religious people simply cannot provide me with a logical answer to religion. It's all about "giving it up" and stuff and not why I should give it up. Why do I want to give it up, anyways? Because I feel better afterwards? Well, I was thinking about religion and I found an article where this guy gave some theology students some shrooms during Good Friday meditation and afterwards they had some really sick religious experiences, and those "visions" made them happy for months afterwards. And that just seems to say to me that it's what you want; you believe and you shall receive, and not because of some God, but because you want it to happen. And then when the poo hits the fan, well, "God's got a plan", but we can't know this plan, because we're idiots. It just seems all too easy. It seems all this blathering was just invented to fill that desire we want for love and belonging and community and a greater sense of purpose; every religion seems to do the same thing. So how do I know J-dawg's the "real" one and not Allah, or Buddha, or Quetzalquatl or someone else? Heck, why not even the Jewish "G_d" (or the Islamic one for all it counts), since He's the SAME ONE?!. It just seems that all this stuff can be explained either with psychology (about giving us "purpose") or history (Judaism, Christianity, Islam), and those reasons seem a lot more logical, and they don't posit the existance of a God.
So I guess I'll just tell the guy that I think half of religion is about control, the other half is about psychology, that I want a logical explanation to why Christianity is the best choice, and to avoid empty dogma unless he can back it up with a logical argument. It sounds like I'm playing hardball, or excuse the pun, Devil's advocate, but I don't mean it like that. I just want a real reason why I should follow Christianity, and not "just because, it's great!". I mean, I used to joke about going there to scope out the hot Asian girls (and there are hot asian girls, but of course it's not the palce for such crap and i manage to turn off those baser urges while there), but now that I think about it, I really don't have much of a reason to go, except that I don't have a reason to stop, and I don't have anything better to do. It's a poor excuse, and at some level I envy religious people, but on another level, I have to wonder. I don't want to cynically believe in religion "just in case" they were right all along and there really is a God and heaven and angels, but I don't want to blindly believe in whatever's told to me, because that generally leads to bad things, at least when a fellow man is telling me. The day God or Buddha or whoever comes down from the clouds and tells me "HOLY HOLY HOLY!" I will convert, no doubt about it (as long as I am not tripping; see above). But until then, I'm going to remain a skeptic.
-dh | | |
| dolefully i spoon another lump of the soupy mash, forcing my lips aparat just long enough to dump the warm, bitter mess into my mouth before hastily chewing and swallowing the noxious mixture. My stomach churns. I don't think I can take another bite, but it seems the level in my bowl hasn't gone down at all. In fact, if anything, it seems to be even higher than before. Any more and it will be overflowing from the rim. I can't possibly eat more, though. I swear, one more bite and I'll spew whatever small quantity of this that I have managed to eat all over my desk. The low-tide smell of the seaweed makes it all the worse. The sesame seeds provide a small respite from the revolting taste of the rice and the acrid green tea, but my desparate poaching has removed most of the salty, flavorful seeds already. I can't take this! How do the Japanese think this mush is so great?!?
HOW CAN JAPANESE LIKE OCHAZUKE?!?!?!? All that the regrettable combination of rice and green tea does for me is increase my appreciation of a good Lean Pocket. Mmmm 4 cheese pizza! Broccoli and cheese! Chicken Marinara! I so want to dump this slop down the waste disposal and nuke a Lean Pocket. Crispy cheesy crust! Warm tasty filling! only 290 calories!
... im going to cry.
-dh | | |
| Well, I have been thinking about studying abroad. I know I want to do a semester in Japan; all three of UR's programs (Nagoya, Tokyo and Meiji Gakuin Exchange) seem feasible for me; I'll just have to tailor my class selections a little bit before or after the semester to accomodate the focus of the program. But if I can fit it, I'd like to do a semester somewhere else too, or at least a summer program. I've been thinking of France, which fits my ideal second study abroad: European, non-English speaking, and somehow "interesting" (or at least relatively famous, so I am not stuck with saying: "Yeah, I studied in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia." "huh?!"). The decision was a rather impulsive one, maybe influenced by all the French people that constantly MSN messenger me, having gotten my name off the penpal site where i signed up to exchange letters with Japanese people.
Anyways, recently, I've been thinking about Russia, because I honestly have no idea what Russia is like. I can imagine France, and even if its based heavily on American stereotypes, at least I have a mental image of France. The only mental images of Russia I have are taiga-like forests and the war-torn ruins of crumbling cities, usually accompanied by the imagined sound of gunfire and visions of machine gun fire raking my head and tanks rumbling down the rainy street. All these images are courtesy of Red Storm Entertainment and their superb Ghost Recon and Operation Flashpoint games, and from what I've heard, they did a real good job of modelling Red Square and all, but I have a feeling this isn't what real Russia is like, with artillery hammering away and rifle shots popping in the distance and helicopters streaking overhead as AT4 anti-tank rockets zoom down alleyways. When I try to conjure images of "real" Russia, i draw a total blank (this goes for all the Eastern European nations and former Russian satellite nations, but since Russia is the big daddy of them all, might as well visit there, says I). So it'd be nice to visit there and meet some people and stuff. It sounds so stupid: "gee, get to go over there and visit some real flesh-and-blood Ruskies, whoo hoo!" but in all honesty, I think It'd be an interesting place to visit, and now is the best time to do it.
Plus, I mean, I'd make out pretty well with the exchange rate because of relative wealth and standard of living and all that stuff, right? Okay I'll just shut up now.
-dh | | |
| All right, I never got a review of my new computer up, so I thought I'd put up a short review.
Backstory
I bought this computer for notetaking, because my Toshiba is a bit too big, has about 1 hour of battery life thanks to its P4 and massive LCD, and, as the icing on the cake, has recently started to restart/lock up whenever it so chooses, which is about 3 or 4 times a day now. But that's another story. I originally thought of getting something like the Pocket-PC equivalent of the Sidekick II or whatever, because someone in my class had one, and I thought something like that would be handy for notes. So I was looking around for a small replacement. Initially, I wanted a Windows CE device, like an uber-Pocket PC, similar to my old Diamond Mako, which was nothing more than a Psion Revo with a new splash screen. Something pocket-sized, less than $600, that could replace my Dell Axim, which is pretty useless without a keyboard. I initially had my eye on what is basically the Revo reimagined, the Psion NetBook, which runs Windows CE, has a full keyboard, and unfolds just like the Revo. However, the thing is pricey at $1200 - almost the price of a new computer, I figured. Next thing I looked at was the Sharp Zaurus SL-C3200, which has a Pocket-PC type thumboard that unfolds in a clamshell-type design, and packs a whopping 6 GB hard drive in pocket size. Extremely cool, and for around $600, not too shabby. Downside is that it's a Linux platform, and I was worried about compatibility.
I started looking at handtops/ultraportables. I started looking at the Sony line. The older models were about $1200, and while they weren't the most stylish (had a somewhat classic ibook-like aesthetic), they only cost around $1200. A newer Vaio ultraportable retails at like $2500, and for that, I could have gotten the extremely chic Flybook, which, although it's using an older, less powerful crusoe processor instead of a Pentium, it had a touch screen and was sexy, and cost about the same (Brand names, bah). But then, along came the Fujitsu Lifebook P1510D, a current-gen computer with a Pentium core and touchscreen functionality, all for $1300, only $100 more than the 'classic' Sony. I'd lose the optical drive, but I'd gain a touch screen and some snazzed-up specs. It was a no-brainer.
Impressions
Build:
I was initially peeved because either the rubber feet were slightly uneven, or my body was torqued ever so lightly, so it didn't rest level. So I peeled off one of the feet and cut a slightly thicker foot out of a rubber mousepad and glued it on, and now the body is level. Other than that, I think it's fine. Apparently it has some sort of Magnesium alloy ABS body instead of straight plastic, which is apparently good for preventing nicks, although I got a little ding in the corner somehow.
The screen doesn't have any sort of latch that clips it into place, instead it is spring-loaded, so that is is kept closed mostly by pressure, though there is a tab that clicks down (hard to explain). The benefit of this is that transforming from closed to open to tablet is effortless; just move the screen this way or that without worrying about unlatching it. The screen is pretty firm and doesn't have any flop, yet. The keyboard is 80%, which is a bit small, but touch-typing is done rather easily, even with someone with rather thick fingers, like me. The buttons are springy with a bit of "click" but aren't as resilient as my Toshiba's.
Port-wise, you get two USB ports, one on either side, near the back, microphone and headphone jacks on the left side along with a CF slot, and AC power, SD slot, spring-loaded stylus holder and wireless switch on the right. Ethernet and modem are on the back, along with air outtake and laptop lock hole. On the back-right side is a pop-off cover that hides the monitor output, though I'm not sure why you'd hook this thing up to a monitor. Some people remark on the lack of a PCMCIA slot, but to be honest, I'm not too worried, as it has onboard ethernet, modem and b/g wireless, the sound is fine, and it sports USB 2.0, so I'm not really sure what I'd need a PCMCIA card for, except maybe to quickly transfer documents from my Pocket PC (I use a USB 2.0 card on my toshiba since it doesn't have onboard USB 2.0).
Screen:
The screen is amazingly good. The response time isn't going to blow you away, but the viewing angle is good. Black contrast could be better, but it gets the job done and then some. the 1024x600 res is a bit akward and can inhibit some things from running, like programs that demand 1024x768, like RPG Maker XP. Well, I lie; it supports 1024x768 and above in strange way; it displays only part of the screen at a time, and you can track the viewport by moving the stylus or cursor to the edge of the screen. But I found that mildly annoying, so I just stick with 1024x768 most of the time. It seems pretty scratch-resistant, but I shelled over $50 for a PC Techs Screen Protector, which gives me the extra security.
Performance:
The Lifebook runs well, but the 4200 rpm harddrive and standard 256 MB RAM slow it down at times when you're multitasking or playing games. I upgraded to a 512 MB RAM card (WARNING: this thing takes DDR2 172-pin MicroDIMMs, and has only one slot, so anything over 512 is going to cost... a lot. 512 is like $80, 1 GB is $300. I didn't understand this either until I realized that the entire surface area of the 512 card is covered, while the 256 card is half-covered... so that means they must have done some tricky engineering to get 1 GB to fit). With the 512 card it's quite zippy. The onboard graphics aren't spectacular, but this is obviously not a gaming rig. To put it in perspective, Call of Duty 1 and Dungeon Siege 1 both run acceptably with 256, and run pretty nicely on medium-low detail with the upgraded memory. It's good for watching movies, although since it doesn't have an optical drive, you'll either have to watch ripped movies or watch them remotely (I've wired my dorm so I can access my Toshiba's optical and external hard disks remotely).
The Lifebook has no touchpad, but just one of the "nubs" (Mike calls it a "nipple", Bryan a "joystick" but it's neither... its just a nub), though it's quite responsive without being overly-sensitive, as I know earlier nubs were from previous experience. Sure, it can be adjusted, but I thought it was fine default. Of course, you have the touch screen too, which is nice, although it seems to loose its calibration after a few changes from portrait to landscape and back. I'm running Windows Tablet XP, so it has the standard Tablet 4-point calibration, though I heard the older XP Pro models had a Fujitsu 5-point calibration program that was a lot nicer; this one might have that too, for all I know, but I never installed the Fujitsu program pack, as I'm trying to keep the tablet relatively uncluttered.
Battery life with the standard battery is about 2 and a half hours in normal battery mode with wireless going. There's a seven-hour battery that sticks out a bit, which I might invest in eventually, but 3 hours is generally enough if I recharge between/during some of my classes. A seven hour battery might be nice though to make this a real "ultraportable", as having to plug it in is a bit of a burden. The Hibernate mode is good though, and it works flawlessly, unlike my Toshiba, where it messes up the sound card. I can simply close the lid when I'm done with it and open it up when I get to my next class and I am right back to where I left off.
EDIT: I have yet to test the fingerprint scanner (the gold-colored slit on the bottom-left of the screen panel), but it has one, for all you paranoid guys.
Conclusion
I think this is a great laptop for a great price. One of the members of my youth group was in the library one day and commented on my computer. She had one of those $2500 Sonys, and she still thought mine was pretty nice, and even smaller, too (although I think the Sony is thinner) - and mine was a $1000 cheaper, and is a tablet to boot. The portable package is nice, and you don't have to sacrifice much for it. A RAM upgrade (which you can do yourself, easily; there was a photoguide somewhere, but I can't find it. All you do is unscrew the panel on the bottom, gently lift up and out on the memory card and it pops back out. simply slide the new card in at a digonal and press down to latch in and viola), along with a screen protector and mouse, makes a complete package, all for the price of a mid-range desktop replacement, with the bonus of portability. Some may be turned off by the small screen size, but I find it acceptable. It's perfect for work, highly portable, decently powerful, and incredibly cute.
EDIT: that's a mini-mouse, by the way :D.
Stats
From Tablet PC Review Spot
Hard Drive: 30GB (4200RPM)
Ports:
2 x USB 2.0
1 x Docking
1 x DC Power Input
1 x RJ-11 Modem
1 x RJ-45 Network
1 x VGA
1 x Microphone
1 x Headphone(s)
Package Contents:
LifeBook P1510D, Lithium Ion battery, AC Adapter, Fujitsu Recovery CD's, Stylus (Pen)
Network: Gigabit Ethernet 10/100/1000Mbps, Wi-Fi IEEE 802.11a/b/g 54Mbps
Manufacturer: Fujitsu Computer Systems Corp.
Case Style: Portable
Standard Memory: 512MB SDRAM
Display Screen: 8.9" 1024x600 Active Matrix TFT Color LCD
Optical Drive: none
Sound Card: Integrated
Standard Warranty: 1 Year(s) Limited - Worldwide
Expansion Slots: 1 x Compact Flash
Operating System: Windows XP Tablet PC Edition
Processor: Intel Pentium M 753 (1.20GHz, 2MB L2-Cache, FSB 400)
Batteries: 1 x 3-cell Lithium Ion (Li-Ion) Standard 2600 mAh
Modem: V.92 56Kbps Fax Modem
Maximum Memory: 2GB DDR2 SDRAM
Graphics Controller: Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 900 Up to 128MB VRAM
Parts Warranty/Labor: 1 Year
Dimensions: 1.46" Height x 9.3" Width x 6.57" Depth
Weight: 2.21 lbs.
-dh | | |
| Well, the last few non-entries were rather pointless, so let me try to make up for that.
First, a SITREP. I got back from break on thursday, and I've been mainly focusing on geting my work done before next week. I have two midterms coming up and two projects looming, as well as a paper later in the month of April. The main worry is the Contemporary Japanese Culture project, because I have an initial oral report on tuesday. Not only am I a bit behind in my research, I am terrified of oral reports, so I want to make sure I'm 110% prepared information-wise to compensate for my lackluster delivery. The problem is, I may have bit of more than I can chew by trying to research the issue of zainichi chosenjin, because it seems most of the Japanese news sources sort of poo-poo the issue and sweep it under the rug, and when they do report on it, it's usually a blurb about a specific incident, and nothing really on the larger problem, or what should be done about it. Debito Arudo has a lot of things to say about discrimination in general, but he really isn't focused on the plight of Koreans, even though a lot of his stuff is applicable. So I've been poring over internet databases and Google to find some decent reporting.
I have also all but secured a summer job at Camp Wayne. I thought I was going to do fishing, but now apparently I'm doing kayaking and fishing. I'm only a recreational kayaker, so if I can find someplace that will help me brush up the more technical aspects before I go, I need to do that. I've also been fantasy-shopping for the camp; I think I want to get a life jacket and camelback. And maybe a dive mask if I go to practice kayaking before the camp (need to work on rolling). It's a jocky place but the pay is far better than anywhere else, so what's to lose? Weight! I am going to try to seriously diet and exercise before going. Mostly dieting now, but I want to do some light strength working. Then in the few weeks I'm home before camp, hopefully I can fit in some cardio (as well as kayaking).
I also want to play my guitar more, maybe 20 minutes a day. If I can spare it, I might buy a cheap acoustic guitar for taking to camp to give me something to do on my down time. Maybe I can even pick up some tips from a fellow counselor.
Well, whatever, my computer is dying or something, so I have to cut this short. More to come.
EDIT: Well, all right, things seem better now on the computer front. I had to cool my homework-stuffed head with some down-time playing the guitar. I wanted to work on building my repertoire, which before tonight consisted of the introductions to Oasis' Wonderwall and Creed's One Last Breath. I think I've gotten a working version of Joan Osborne's One of Us now, but I had to make a ghetto capo out of a ballpoint pen and a rubber wrist strap from a flashlight. I tried making a pick out of the corner of an old Blockbuster gift certificate card, but it didn't work too well. Got down a few other chord progressions for some songs, but no more solo sections. I had an incomplete tab for FF8's "Eyes on Me" acoustic instrumental version (From the 'Jamming with Final Fantasy' album or somethin), which is pretty awesome; in fact, it made Faye Wong's performance seem nothing special when I finally got around to hearing the regular version. I want to learn that, because it sounds pretty cool, it's not just a boring chord progression, and it's rather original, not to mention nothing too impossible to play. Of course, it would get a bit embarassing explaining where it came from while trying to keep my anime nerd status hidden :(.
(while I'm on it, this reminds me of a somewhat Abbott and Costello routine Mike and I had when we were discussing miss Wong: "So she has an American name?" "Faye?" "Yeah, Faye" "No, she has a Chinese name" "So she changed it to Faye?" "Faye?" "Yeah, Faye" "No, that's Chinese" "F-A-Y-E Faye?" "No, F-E-I. Faye. Why would you spell it F-A-Y-E?" "Because that's how you spell 'Faye'". "No, its "F-E-I" "No, it's F-A-Y-E *points to CD* See?" "Oh, that's an American name?" "... yes." "hm... I didn't know that. Well, it worked out for her didn't it?").
Well, back to work, or something.
EDIT^2: Next song i have to learn is definitely CORNFLAKE GIRL! But for the piano. It can't be too hard, just a few chords. Hm. I know Tori Amos is love-or-hate, hit-or-miss sort of music, but I like it. Love it, even, perhaps. It's hard to tell; my taste in music seems to fluctuate. At least, my "favorite songs". Currently getting the most play time:
Honey and Clover Soundtrack, most notably the songs by Spitz and Suga Shikao. Maybe it's just because I realy enjoyed the show (I know that strongly influences the esteem I attribute to the music), but I think the music is good enough to stand on its own. It's mostly light, airy pop-rock on the soundtrack, especially Spitz's songs, but good nonetheless. Lyrics aren't anything amazing, but of course I'm not really paying attention to them too much, they being in Japanese and all. Good stuff though, and has been going pretty much continuously since I downloaded it. The live track by YUKI, "Hello Goodbye" (sometimes directly transcribed as 'hero gubbai', for whatever reason) is borderline obnoxious, but the opening guitar riff and the saccharine-sweetness practically dripping off every line make it worth a listen every once in a while, along with the ending that deteriorates into her shouting to the audience at the end in what appears to be a spurt of gibberish engrish and Japanese.
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand: What can I say? I have a thing for this sort of offbeat spunky music. The only track I can't stand is track 2: 'Tell Her Tonight'. That's the one track that gets the skip. I just like the guitar work and the rather interesting lyrics, despite the repetitiveness in some of the songs.
Killers - Hot Stuff: More offbeat music. Love the whole album, even some of the stranger songs. Sure, the lyrics make no sense, but that's probably part of the appeal.
Dean Gray - American Edit: Well, it's actually by Party Ben, the name is a pun on Green Day. This remix album is even better than its source material, and all the songs are worth listening to, although the standouts are the remixes of 'Holiday' & 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams'
other tracks of note:
Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto OST: The Indigo's ending song, 'Under the Blue Sky', is really the only thing of note, but it's worth it in my opinion. I'm curious to get my hands on more of their stuff but they still seem to be on the rise, with only 1 CD slated for US release at the moment. Not that that's stopped me before *cough* Utabautayun *cough*. I guess they did the Ai Yori Aoshi end song too but that show was too retarded for me to watch past the first five minutes. While I'm on it, though, let me say that Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto (US: Someday's Dreamers) is a pretty good watch. Nothing special story-wise but the art and voice work are pretty good. Just a light fairy-tale like story. Makes me want to get my hands on the manga.
Weezer - Make Believe: the favorite, 'Beverly Hills', and the following track, 'Perfect Situation', which, in my opinion, totally eclipses 'Hills'.
JET - Get Born: Radio favorites 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' & 'Look What You've Done' as well as 'Come Around Again'
Fall Out Boy - From Under the Old Cork Tree: JUST KIDDING! I hate this album. I thought I liked 'Sugar We're Going Down', but it turns out I just had it stuck in my head from hearing it on HOT 107.9 every ten minutes while I was working at the sign shop.
EDIT^3: How could I forget PHANTOM!!! Indeed, Phantom of the Opera OST has also been getting a lot of playtime. Gotta listen to it in moderation though, or I'll grow weary of it. PHOTO... hm. interesting acronym.
EDIT^4: Okay, I'm just stalling now. But I was thinking of doing some "tasteless reviews" in order to explain the rationale behind my apparent lack of taste. I don't even know why I am bothering stating this, since I think my readership must be like 3 people, but whatever. I'll probably start with anime reviews, just for fun. Okay, now it really is homework time.
Until next time,
EDIT^5: About that song I got, named Orange Range - , in researching for my Japanese project, during one of my many ADD-induced wanderings, I found out that Orange Range is the name of the band - the article was about the Engrish-y band names of Japan, and stated that Orange Range was named for the lead singer's mother's favorite color, with the "Range" tacked on for repetition to make the name more memorable (In Japanese: "orenjirenji"). So then, that begs the question, what is the song's name? So I copied the kanji into NJStar Word Processor, and it told me that it means honmono, or "genuine article". So, mystery solved.
PS: while I was studying for linguistics my mind started wandering, and I was wondering about what the Japanese would use for a sarcastic "haha". I know that a simple "ahahahaha-" suffices for the sound effect of laughter, but is there a more culture-specific sound for laughing that would better fit if I wanted to give a sort of deadpan dry laugh? Because I have a strong feeling that "ahahaha" is Western carry-over. They must have some sort of laugh-sound...
EDIT^6: "gera-gera" seems to be that sort of laugh, but I'll cross-reference it with the anime connoisseur when he's online. From http://www.watanabesato.co.jp/jpculture/howmanyi/jplaugh.html.
whatever.
-dh | | |
|